Attempting to Draw Closer

I am reading through I Chronicles in my time of listening to the Lord. A few verses struck me today. In I Chron. 22:19, "Now devote your heart and soul to seeking [YHVH (Yahveh)] your God." David, King of Israel charged this to his son Solomon while gathering the materials to build the first Temple in Jerusalem, Israel. The second Scripture is I Chron. 23:30, "They were also to stand every morning to thank and praise [YHVH]. They were to do the same in the evening." This is what the tribe of Israel named, Levi did as their job each day. Compound these verses with the book I am reading and teaching from by Francis Chan, Forgotten God: Reversing Our Tragic Neglect of the Holy Spirit and I have multiple thoughts running through my mind.

I know for fact that our Lord is real. I believe. What I sometimes struggle with, is His silence. I think He maybe stretching me right now. Last night I was in conversation with my wife about our budget. We are reworking it trying to figure out where money that should now be freed up is going. We should have some more money at the end of this month if we will adhere to the new budget. The interesting thing is that the money is the only money we will have for anything extra. It is also the exact amount of a full tithe to the Lord. I awaken this morning and find myself between sleep and prayer, prayer and sleep until I finally force myself out of bed. The family leaves and I am sitting alone, reading and eating Frosted Mini Wheats and I think about the budget again and this thought occurs to me, "We need to give that money to the Lord even if it means no extras. Shouldn't we be trusting Him for those anyway?"

Next, I come into the office and read these verses, longing to hear Jesus speak to me the way that he spoke to the seers and prophets of the Old Covenant. I am longing and seeking the Lord, but I wonder if he wants me to venture a little further from my comfort zone this time and that is why He seems silent even as my heart is turned to Him. Will I venture? Is it just about tithing and trusting (which seem to come up over and over lately, which probably makes that a HUGE hint) or is it more about retreating? Do I need to do more prayer walking? Surely, the silence of our home or in the office is enough... His Spirit is everywhere and we worship Him in Spirit and truth. Time will tell, and it is my hope that we will put our full trust into Him as a couple and as a family. I pray that my belief will be strengthened and proven sure guidance for this family that God desires to lead through me.